I have days when I teach piano, and days when I write.
Piano teaching is fun, and very heavily subscribed here in the North West, unlike the rural mountainside where I lived before. I get enquiries all the time – a lucky move.
Got a new booking just this morning. Attendance is a bit iffy but I rarely penalise absences. It's just not necessary, as when someone's away I can do admin. I have about 5 hours' work a week, but could have a lot more. It's carefully timed so I can be free.
I'm also 6 tracks into another album. Obviously, there's no money while I write. My last album involved a stunning virtuoso band – it was a slow-paced release, being in a remote rural location, but still a brilliant and rather surreal thing to experience. Just difficult to progress alone.
I'm not a great singer, so this time I'm using AI voices to structure my tracks before I start looking for a vocalist. And this time, I'm trying to keep my style simple, unique in concept and connected, rather than generic. Still painfully slow, of course; I probably manage 12 hours a week.
Creative work is tricky when you’re a carer
Creative work is tricky when you're a carer. On the one hand, caring brings you closer to peoples' emotions and narrates their lives uniquely. On the other, you don't want to express lyrics which offend or assume.
My tracks are about issues, but I usually voice peoples' thoughts in my songs so I have to be careful not to oppress or annoy the people I care for, who are also musicians, and share my space.
My last album stayed on the positive, cheesy side, probably for this reason, didn't want to go there, but my new work is different, more gritty.
My emotional or physical help may be needed at a time when I’m doing my own work
Trains of thought are also harder to maintain as a carer.
One of the people I support is self-employed, so things are complex. One is learning life skills. There may often be a situation where my emotional or physical help is unexpectedly needed at a time when I'm doing my own work.
I could be in the middle of adjusting a harmony flow in a Cubase track or pinning down a particularly poignant lyric about mortality, when a knock on the door starts a different conversation.
There can be organisational issues. We could go through a medical or psychological concern in detail. I may hear sounds of distress, and need to go and reassure.
There may be unbearable pain, an inability to wake up, or sleep, a concerning symptom, overwhelming panic about a topic which needs to be broken down, or a floor to be hoovered as guests are imminent. Or medication errors.
Sometimes we have to decide when there has been too much blood loss, when pain is too unrelenting, and when professional help is definitely needed – never a popular topic.
There may be heavy items to move, or someone is completely unable to eat because their condition is having a flare. There may be broken ribs or broken toes from people trying to do things they cannot, or sickness from inappropriate food.
Or someone with a food disorder is suddenly hungry mid-afternoon and needs to eat a specific food NOW. Often, things are too quiet, and I need to check.
Even on a quiet day, building the momentum for creative work can be challenging
Calmness is important. So, even on a quiet day, building the momentum for creative work can be challenging.
Neither original thought nor technical progress is a given, and I count myself lucky that I can compose music in my head whilst I drive or walk.
Not for the first time, I may nip to the studio to put the gist of the track down before it evaporates, and then find I'm rushing to the kitchen to stop an actual steamer boiling dry. Hence my habit of getting up at 5.
The small element of stability Carers' Allowance provides is instantly offset
I care for 35 plus hours a week earning £2 an hour. I've been doing this a while. Hopefully, I won't need to ask for Carers’ Allowance after this year, although I will always be caring.
The small element of stability Carers’ Allowance provides is instantly offset by the stress of making sure my earnings don't accidentally go above £151 a week.
And, with my irregular income, how can I instantly know when I do? In retrospect, for sure. Tax returns are inadmissible to the DWP, and there's no guidance about what expenses can be included in my Caring Allowance figures.
What if I earn too much one month and not enough the next one...do they balance out? Nobody says. What heating, advertising or cleaning can I count? No reply.
But the responsibility for getting the end figure right, and alerting about a change in circumstance, that's entirely mine. Down, apparently, like songwriting, to an unnamed instinct.