Confidence isn’t something that comes naturally to me; after graduation, in my first job at the London Philharmonic Orchestra, I couldn’t even speak out loud in a team meeting without my voice shaking!
Luckily I had a very supportive manager who always listened to me and encouraged me to take on things that I loved to do, and my confidence gradually grew through working with a variety of people and training in project management and early years music leading. I loved watching little ones learn new things and slowly gain in confidence, both musically and in everything else.
Adapting to change
I lost some of my sight suddenly at the age of 28 and this saw my confidence plummet again, along with becoming a parent at 29 which I think makes most people’s confidence crash!
I tried to remember the baby steps that children in the early years take to learn the massive amount of information that they take on and to build confidence. I put lots of small steps in place for myself, learning alongside my daughter.
I had to be able to travel independently, navigate new spaces, and work again in music where I’d always been able to see music and see other people. It was a complete change and one that was really hard to adapt to, but ironically, a lot of confidence has eventually come from it.
Small things can help to make a big difference in supporting people with vision loss
I’ve always gained confidence from supporting others. I also know from my own experiences that really small things make a difference to me, such as talking to me rather than the person I’m with; asking if I need help to find somewhere to sit; telling me who’s in a room or on a zoom call; standing on the left hand side of me when I’m on stage so I can use my useful vision; amusing audio description from friends using shared reference points.
None of these are things that take massive amounts of budget or time, but they do make me feel ‘seen’, included, and also build my confidence.
Image credit: Nic Serpell-Rand.
Made With Music is an Award-Winning Charity Providing Accessible Live Music for Families
Adapting to work again with the help of my brilliant colleague and disability ally Hannah, was not straightforward, but we made all those small changes for me, for her, and then for each person we met, so that as many people as possible were truly included in music.
It’s not just disabled people who need small things put in place to support them to feel confident attending rehearsals, workshops, gigs and events; we learnt that lots of different people benefitted from our approach, and could also build their confidence alongside musical learning.
Our adaptations put in place for me to work have grown into a small charity, Made with Music. We have conversations with, and learn from, everyone we meet to find out the things that make a difference to them. Then we implement them into our work and encourage other organisations, large and small, music and non music related, to do the same.
I love singing and working with young people, but I also love working with organisations to support them to meet people’s needs. Everyone has needs, and the more of them we meet, the higher the wellbeing of employees, or the more people will come back time and again to music.
Receiving the The Youth Music Award for Inspirational Music Leader
The Youth Music Award for Inspirational Music Leader, sponsored by the Musicians Union, is an absolute career highlight for me. It’s such a reminder of how far I’ve come.
The world is getting slightly more accessible for disabled people and we are more visible than we ever were. It gives me hope that future generations will have musical role models that are like them, and that future musicians will truly represent the wonderful diversity of people that are out there in the world, who I learn from every day.
Did I feel confident going up on stage to collect it? Not in the slightest! But is it good for me to be in situations where I don’t feel confident, to remind myself how other people feel in everyday situations, let alone singing or making music together? Absolutely! Thank you so much for the recognition of the small changes I’ve been trying to put in place for me and everyone else.
Read more about the Youth Music Awards 2024, and revisit our blog on 2023’s winner, Elizabeth J Birch.